Saturday, October 22, 2011


An hour is...

Sitting down to enjoy dinner together.

Our favorite show.

Getting our kids ready for bed.

An hour isn't...

Long enough to see you face.

Long enough to look into your eyes.

Long enough to watch you smile at me.

Glad we could Skype. I miss you. I love you forever and today.

Friday, June 10, 2011

Part 2

Beautiful, right?

This was our view from the room where we slept. Now imagine this wrapping all the way around, so close I felt like I could walk to the bottom of those snow capped mountains. The air was fresh and clear. The days were endless with one blurring into another without the help of night to distinguish one from another. I felt it a crime to go to sleep at 10 pm when it still looked like midday. This meant that most nights I didn't fall asleep until after one or two in the morning when there was finally a dusk covering the valley where our friends lived.

In the two weeks of our vacation there will be two moments that will really define Alaska for me. The first was my ATV trek through the wilderness. When the husbands decided to take a drive through the forest I was going to go shotgun with Josh until I was convinced I needed to go big and drive of my own four wheeler. I've never been on one before and was very nervous, but I took my time and had control of it pretty fast. So off we went through the woods and on keeping to a dirt path that went up and over hills. Going down some steep ones really made my heart jump into my throat a few times. Once we came to an open marsh I finally took the time to look around. I could see the sun shinning on the water in the distance and there wasn't another living soul around except for the four of us and the two children. When we came to a beach we stopped for a moment and the view took my breath away. The mountains made and arc around us and then where they didn't touch land they looked to be floating on the water in the distance. I could really see how life was like before people settled on this last frontier. There was nothing around to mar the beauty of the rolling mountains and quite waters except for a lone train that I  imagined was the first explore this new land.

My second favorite moment of our vacation was on one of our last nights there. There was a get together to celebrate a some one's promotion. Late that night after everyone had left my husband and I sat around a fire with our closest friends. The fire was hot, the mosquitoes were biting, and the day was ending, but we just sat and talked. Talked about our past when we first met and what we hoped for our futures. We talked past the sunset and into the sunrise finally deciding to call it quites when we figured our children would be up in just a few short hours.

I really enjoyed our time in Alaska. So just a few pictures to end with.


Monday, June 6, 2011

3 months

Happy 3 month birthday to you, Kade.

I've really neglected something these last few months while enjoying my new little one. This blog being one of those things. I have quite a list of posts that I started and never got around to finishing when I got distracted by one of my boys needing mommy's attention.

Life has been pretty great in the Bigger household these last few months. My in-laws came up for the Mother's Day weekend so hubby and I got a date night. We went to a movie. The two of us hadn't been out about town since Thanksgiving when we saw the new Harry Potter movie. That day we had planned to see Thor at four, but decided to first stop off at the grocery store to get my favorite treat. Chocolate covered gummy bears.

So we pushed the movie off until later and went to dinner. Two girlie cocktails later I was feeling sweet. Josh had me laughing at everything. That's my favorite thing about our relationship. We can laugh. We will get old, passions might fade, our children will grow up, but Josh and I will always laugh. We will laugh at inside jokes, at the antics our children get into, and even past arguments with a fondness that will hold us together like glue for our years ahead. I hope he knows how much I love him.

We actually just got back from our first family vacation. Josh and I have been married almost six years and we finally take some time to go somewhere besides to visit family. (Don't be butt hurt. You know we love visiting you.) It was the weekend before Memorial day and out of the blue Josh asks if I want to take a hop up to Alaska. And that's what we did. Packed a few backpacks and flew up to see the last frontier. Boy was it beautiful. It didn't hurt that our very best friends live up there. We met when our husbands went through basic and tech school together. Then we got stationed together at McChord AFB. It was sad to see them leave and wonder if we'd ever see them again.

Getting off the plane at 5 in the morning took my breath away with the view of mountains circling all around. I was then on the lookout for moose.

To be continued...

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Kade, happy 1 month birthday

On a side note. Sean got a gift in the mail. Just a little something from his Gran so he can be just like Daddy.

Pizza Monday

It was the end of a good shopping day and I was standing at the checkout counter trying to pay for my groceries. Now this place I go to does not have baggers to help you so between trying to pay and putting my groceries in bags my debit card decided to decline on me. Three times my I swiped my card and three times it declines. Asking the lady to hold for a moment I call Josh. Now I'm not panicing because I know we have the funds available, so I ask Josh if it is possible that my card has reached its limit. A line is really starting my grow behind me and the lady asks if I'd like to try again. Still talking with Josh about possible card malfunctions I swip my card, enter my pin number and hit enter. Surprise! My card goes through. I must have needed a nap or a grande coffee at that moment because that's when it hits me. There was nothing wrong with my card. The problem lay all with the finger on my right hand. It was sabatoging my purchase by hitting cancel every time.

Enough of that though.
Every once in a while I get a great idea. Something that revolutionizes our family. In this case it's called Pizza Monday. Probably my favorite day of the week. A day where I don't have to worry about what's for dinner. A day where our family is together for dinner. Every Monday we try something different. Sometimes we order out from our local small town pizza place, or we go to the market for ready made. This last time I wanted to try something different and let Sean make his own pizza. He loved it. Getting to touch the textures and being up on the counter really made his day. 

Happy Monday!

Saturday, April 2, 2011

My Calvin

At the beginning of the month when I found out Josh would be leaving before Kade was born I called around to my family asking who could come visit me. Since Kade came early my mother-in-law came up and my sister with her little boy. It was nice having company. A week later it was just my sister and me. Oh, and our boys! Those boy! The hijinks those boys got into. 
Sean and Ethan

All that crazyness from two boys, ages 3 and 2, I don't know how Juliane and I didn't go insane in those two weeks. We had to fight tempertantrums over toys, racing up and down two flights of stairs, and climbing over the baby gates just to name a few. The worst happened on a nice sunny day. I was nursing Kade and asked Juliane if she could get the boys dressed to spend some time out in the backyard. When she went to get them they weren't in the toy room. The gate had been knocked over and they were being awfully quiet. The next thing I hear is her gasping and then a dripping sound coming from my kitchen. The boys had flooded my upstairs toilet resulting in my bathroom flooding and causing it to drain out a vent in the kitchen. My husband was lucky enough to have missed all the fun. Thankfully cleaning was easy with no permenant damage.

That got me to thinking about when I was a little girl and would read my favorite comic books. I had five that I would read over and over again. The one carton that I loved above all the others. That was Calvin and Hobbs. He was awsome in my eyes. Him and is stuffed tiger. I'd then dream about the future and the time when I would have a little boy of my own. How I wished he would be just like Calvin. My little boy would have the biggest imagination. He'd be my little hellion making mud pies and killer snowmen.

And sometimes life suprises you and really does give you what you wish for. Let me introduce my Calvin.

Three years with Sean has been a rollercoaster. Sometimes he drives me so crazy and I want to lock him in his room and other times he's so sweet he melt my heart. Like the moments when I catch him giving his baby brother a kiss. He's mine forever.

Just an example of one of Sean's Calvinish moments. I came down one morning to find he had thrown my shoes into the dirty dish water. Ick!

Thursday, March 31, 2011

Welcome Welcome Welcome!

It's a Sunday night and my family has spent it's first weekend together again after being apart for almost 3 weeks. Where did the time fly? It was just the beginning of March and our entire family was enjoying a good cold together when BAM! here I sit watching Josh change Kade's diaper, listening to him trying to coax our three week old into peeing again before he puts the clean diaper on. He's so unlucky when it comes to our children having good aim.

Let me start from the beginning.

At the end of February Sean and I were having a ordinary day at home just hanging out when Josh called from work. He sounded stressed and said he had something to ask me. Was it okay with me if he went on a trip. Now this was a difficult decision for him because in eighteen days we were due to have our second child and out of everyone he worked with he was the only one capable of going because he had his traveling papers in order. I was scared and yet thrilled at the same time. This unexpected bump in the road was a part of the life I chose when I became a military wife. I knew I could handle it alone if need be. Lucky for me I wasn't meant to have this baby alone.

Four days before Josh would leave I had a 38 week baby appointment. It was an easy enough appointment with the midwife where I found out I was dilated 1cm. That night we spent the evening playing games with the neighbors. Girls against guys and we totally smoked them. It was rather late by the time we finished and Sean was acting loopy. Time for bed. By the time I got our stuff together Sean had passed out on their couch. Time for the Newlywed Game! I'd love to say Josh and I were on the same level, but not even close. I was starting to feel really lousy and thought it was sue to getting over the cold and needing to sleep. So I called it a night.

Ever know a three year old who had his own king sized bed? The last month of my pregnancy Sean was the only one sleeping in mommy and daddy's bed because Josh had the swing shift and though I love my bed the thought of possible suffocation due to little legs pushing against my ribs caused me to exile myself to the next comfy piece of furniture in my home. The Recliner. It was just past midnight on Saturday morning when I grabbed my little leg warmer, Lily (she my miniature pinscher) fluffy OU blanket and got as relaxed as possible. Falling asleep was no problem. The pain in my side waking my just ours later was. I had never felt pain like this before. Like an ice pick was being shoved through my side and into my hipbone. That is when the chills started. In a 72 degree house the trembling in my limbs was as if I had caught hypothermia. Calling for Josh I did the only thing I could think of to stop them. I took a very, very warm shower. Ah, relief from the chills. Was it my imagination, or were those contraction I was feeling? With Josh's help we timed them and they were about 5 minutes apart. It was five in the morning by this time and I wrote them off as nothing more than false labor. How could it be anything more when there was still two weeks until the due date? We were able to get some sleep.

Sometime after noon since I wasn't feeling much better I figured we better make the 30 minute drive to the hospital to make sure I was alright. By the time we were ready and had dropped off Sean it was close to 3. We both thought it would be a quick check-up where they told us everything was going the way it should. Once we were there and I was placed in a bed we were told to get comfortable so they could monitor me. Josh decided to go make some calls so I was left all alone to flip through the tv channels. That's when I felt the gush. Pushing the call button I waited for the nurse. When she came I calmly told her my water broke. She checked me and called for the midwife. But not just one came, but two, and a whole gaggle of nurses. Things seemed to be a little more serious because I was bleeding. That's when Josh made his return. It took him a moment to understand that my water really did break. I'm a practical joker at times, and normally I might have used just that line if I wasn't just a bit worried.  

Now they rolled me to an actually delivery room to wait for the baby. Nurses coming in and out checking and then double checking me. The anesthesiologist came in with the my midwife and they began telling me of possible complication and in order to avoid them I should get the epidural so we'd be prepared for anything. Now I had planned on having this baby naturally just like Sean, but once I got a little taste of that pain medicine I was hooked. Again, Josh said he needed to make some calls and update everyone and maybe take a little bathroom break on the side. Everything goes into warp speed the moment he's out of sight. Next thing I known I feel the need to push and none of the nurses are able to find Josh. They are about to start calling him over the loudspeaker when he comes walking in. Time to push. Easiest delivery ever. Josh brought me in around 3 o'clock and at 9:16 pm we were officially introduced to Kade Marcus Bigger. 6lbs 8oz and 19in long.

And then there were four. It's as if Kade has always been here. The missing piece of our family.

Sean has been the best big brother. He wants to hold his brother and covers him back up when the blanket falls off. I have to remind my self to take every day slow because at times I think to myself that I can't wait to see what messes my two boys will get into.

The month is over and things are starting to feel a little more normal. The nights aren't so rough and  I'm finally getting a decent night's sleep. When he does wake me we cuddle together while he nurses. Our only light comes from the bathroom where I keep the door cracked so as not to wake my sleeping husband. In that muted light I hold Kade close and try to memorize everything, the way his little hand curls around my thumb as he eats to the gigantic burp to signal he's done.

I must end this for now. Sean is going crazy running around the house and he really needs to sit down for breakfast. Kade is calling me too.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Salon à la Daddy

 After picking up Sean from school today I couldn't help but notice him rockin' the Beiber hair. He's just so darn cute. Now don't get me wrong I like when little boys have shaggy hair with cute little ringlets, but with Daddy in the military it's the "high and tight" cut all the way.

 Usually Daddy takes Sean to the barber. I like when the two of them have an outing. Later on I know Josh will look back on the simple moments they spent together. Those moments are the one's I want to hold on to when he's older. Like the other day when I was crocheting and Sean sat next to me on the couch. He put his hand  atop mine to stop me from continuing my project. As I was wondering what he wanted he pulled my arm around his shoulders for a Mommy/Sean cuddle. Sweet.
"Daddy, what did you do?"
That's his nickname from me by the way. Sweets. He's just so darn sugary sweet that I can't help smiling when he shares a little bit of what makes him sweet with me.

Monday, February 21, 2011

Sunday Drive

Sunday started out as any other typical day. Pat, pat, pat, pat. I must have an internal Sean alarm because the moment I hear Sean's little feet running down the hallway I wake up. He comes to stand beside my bed, his hands raised in a silent plea for me to pull him up under the covers next to me. I don't have him go back to his own bed because it's already 4:30 in the morning. We all drift back into a sweet sleep until there is actually some sunlight outside. I must be dreaming.

The next time I look at the clock it's a little after 5 and Sean is coughing and I can hear some funky sounds coming from his chest. I must be full of little beeps and warnings that only get implanted when you become a mother because I seemed to know what was coming next. I got out of bed and the moment I picked up Sean he gave a rather violent cough and threw up on the floor next to the bed. My poor baby wasn't feeling well. We went downstairs where I put Sean in his favorite chair (It's actually Daddy's recliner, but Sean will sneak into it anytime Daddy moves). He seemed to be doing better so I got him some water and dry toast and we sat and watched TV for a bit. When Sean started coughing again, though he got sick. I scooped him up and we sat together on the couch. This time we'll try just pedialyte and make sure it stays down. Since I keep all Sean's toys downstairs I grab his favorite books and cuddle together under a warm blanket. He loves Skippyjon Jones. He may have been feeling poorly, but that didn't stop him from helping me turn the pages and clapping on his favorite parts. We are able to get through three books before falling asleep. I'm glad I have such comfy a comfy couch.


Now it's 9 am and the sun is shining brightly. Sean is beginning to act as if the last few hours never happened. The sun must have had a rejuvenating affect because Sean pushed away from me to play with his toys. So I pulled out my latest project and just watched him play for a while. My first attempt at curtain tiebacks. 


The rest of the day was nice and uneventful. A friend brought over a baby swing for our baby-to-be and handmade blankets. One for Sean and one for Kade. We appreciated that very much. After she left Daddy had turned on Nascar and Sean crawled up next to him and curled up for his afternoon nap. We spent many hours together on the couch until it was time to make dinner.

Once dinner was over and Daddy had gone outside to work on the vehicles, I asked Sean if he wanted a bath. This is a favorite for him. Give him some toys and water and he's happy. After a bath and then chasing a naked boy down with his undies and clothes time had just flown by. It was 8 pm and I was ready for Sean to go to bed. That's when Josh comes inside calling my name asking if we're ready to go for a late night drive. Of course! Sean and I are both in our pj's, but who cares. We just bought a Tahoe on Valentine's Day and any excuse to get out of the house is fine with me. We grab Sean and his new blanket and bundle him into his car seat and after jumping in I ask Josh where we're going. I'm told we are going to drive and see where we end up. Our first stop was our favorite drive in for some smoothies and an extra-long cheese coney. How excited we got because Josh could roll down the window. (The driver's side on our other car is broken.) Once finished we drove to the lake just cruising until we came across some boat ramp that a friend had told Josh about. We were lost and almost out of gas when Josh cheated by using the map on his iPhone. That's when we stopped at a gas station betting to see whose guess would be closest to the final price for a full tank of gas. We were both off by $5.
So sad!
Once full we just drove and drove some more. Being a passenger on a night drive really has it's perks. I could take it all in. Seeing the valley and out across to the Tacoma harbor at night just about took my breath away. The city lights stretched as far as the eye could see. Then when we drove around the lake the reflection of houses on the water really makes me promise to one day own property like that. I can see myself now sitting on a deck while water laps softly around me. I'd be sipping a drink watching the lights dance off the water and let the night drift by.

Watching Sean slowly fall asleep by the rocking movement or Josh and me singing to a well known song from the radio help me to enjoy the unknown with my family.i look forward to many night drives in the future.

Friday, February 18, 2011

Finger Paint

What a wonderful day. Absolutely nothing got done around the house, but did it bother me? No way! Only because Sean and I got to go shopping instead. We spent a lovely afternoon at Target just browsing up and down the isles. Mostly we went to check out the baby section, but when I got to the office supplies I had to buy Sean his first set of finger paints. Got home and after his snack I pulled out his new drawing pad and paints and let him have free reign with his artistic abilities.

Isn't he darling?

Tried to sneak a taste, but Mommy was watching.

So fun to watch.

Clean up time.

 I hope this will fulfill my family's grandbaby fix for now. Until Sean does something cute tomorrow... 

Wednesday, February 16, 2011


It felt like a good time to start a new project. Blogging. Just something else to add to my long list of hobbies. My little Sean is growing so fast and I really wanted a way to share him with the grandparents who live over two thousand miles away. Right now it's quite late and Sean should be in bed because he has school tomorrow. Instead he's sitting behind me in the office going through the playlist on my husband's old iphone. For him being only 3 years old he's more competent than most adults when it comes to electronics.

Staying at home with my children is what I've always wanted to do. Getting to see all Sean's milestones is the greatest gift I could ever give myself. He's just so wonderful. Most of the time. Things aren't perfect. I do have a very mischievous boy. All the times he's dumped the dog food into the water bowl, or the time he put my tennis shoes in the dirty dish water has worn me thin at times, but how could I wish for anything different? All his quirks, no matter how naughty at times are precious. Now that our family will be adding a second addition this March (Here's hoping for a St. Patty's baby) his antics make these years together with just the three of us doubly precious. I can't wait for what our little boys will get into as brothers.

Well here's a good night to my first post.